A regular practice – just not the one I’d expected
I used to get wound up about this, feeling like it was some kind of moral failure to have my enthusiasm taper off, that it was just a matter of working harder, pushing through and all that other bullshit we’ve internalised from the world of ‘proper work’. But now, instead of blaming myself, I’d rather ask questions that help understand why this happens, why this pattern belongs to me. I might start by asking “how is it that I have so much energy to begin with?” and then “is there something that happens that changes things for me? Can I understand where the energy goes or why?” Perhaps there are general circumstances or thought patterns that get me here each time, perhaps in this month it was specific things (migraines I’m looking at you). Either way, I’m interested in what was going on, how I was feeling and how that lead to me writing or not writing.