Photo credit Yeshen Venema
Often when people get in touch with me about working 1:1 they tell me that they’ve been thinking about having some coaching/mentoring for a while and that now feels like the right time. So it seems likely that maybe you’ve been considering getting some additional support for your creative practice or business, especially with these things being more readily discussed and accessible via social media and online. But it can be overwhelming finding the right person, especially if your motivation isn’t tangible or goal-oriented.
In this post I’m going to be talking about what coaching and mentoring can be, also a bit about what they’re not, and how it isn’t the same as counselling or therapy. And then I’m going to talk about how you can decide what is right for you, based on the needs you have right now.
What’s the difference between coaching and mentoring and how do they relate to counselling and therapy?
This is a huge topic and there is a wealth of articles on the internet which go into a lot of detail about what all these things are, what they are not and how they are different. Depending on what industry, discipline and context you look in the definitions might vary and the approach being explained might feel very different. The key issues seem to be that there are no universally agreed definitions for these things, you mostly discover what they are by doing a bit of research and hearing how each practitioner sees their own work. Which makes it hard for you, the potential client, doesn’t it?
And that’s why I think it can be easy to think ‘hmm, maybe I could do with some support. I wonder if coaching or mentoring would be good’ and then find yourself lost in a sea of vague statements or wild claims. So instead of trying to pin down what these things are, I’m going to look at how they typically operate, some of the key features, so you can decide which feels most appropriate for you. We’ll consider the approach, focus, time-frame and training aspects to see how they are similar or vary. (Please remember that this is not meant to be a definitive guide, this is just my interpretation, and I would definitely recommend doing some more exploring rather than just taking my work for it. I’ve made a couple of suggestions at the end.)
Coaching
Typically the approach of coaching is person or client-focused, it’s driven by the client’s needs and there is an understanding that the client has all the resources they already need inside them, but perhaps this needs drawing out or supporting. The coach is that support, they offer a space to work towards goals but they do not set the agenda. Coaches typically will ask questions but won’t tell their clients what to do.
The focus of coaching tends to be on tangible goals, things that the client would like to work on or achieve and it is always forward-looking, concerned with the possibility of the future. Because of this coaching is often a short-term relationship, but it’s possible to work with coaches over longer periods depending on the needs of the client.
The thing to remember with coaching is that there is no legal requirement for coaches to be trained, and the courses that do offer accreditation can vary greatly in the ways they train their coaches. Check to see what accreditation coaches have, but also take a look at what this training involved if you want to understand their particular style of coaching. If you are concerned at all about the ethics involved in coaching then accreditation can offer some ease – accredited coaches will usually have been trained to practice ethically – or look to see if they engage with ongoing supervision as part of their professional development. But remember that as this is an unregulated profession there is no onus on practitioners to adhere to strict ethical guidelines in the same way that professional counsellors or therapists do. So if you’re at all concerned, ask. Do they have an ethical policy? How do they continue to develop their skills? What external support do they have in their coaching practice? And, a nosey around websites or social media will often give you a really good sense of their own personal ethics and beliefs (eg around social justice) which might be a factor too.
Mentoring
Traditionally mentoring has been business/career-development focused where the advice from someone more experienced can help guide the ‘mentee’ (ugh what a terrible word). Often this would be done through the mentor sharing experiences, possibly even sharing contacts or making connections. In this sense the approach could be seen as more didactic and may even appear one-sided, it’s also deeply hierarchical. However, mentoring, especially in the creative sector, has evolved from this into something closer to coaching, where the needs and the involvement of the person being mentored are just as important as the mentor’s position/experience, and peer mentoring establishes that everyone has insight to bring regardless of perceived authority.
Mentoring, like coaching, could be focused on specific goals or it might be more general or focused on intangible things, and as such the time-frame of a mentoring relationship is dependent entirely on the needs of the mentee. And, similarly to coaching, mentoring tends to focus on the future, or explores the present.
As with coaching there is no requirement for mentors to be officially trained (not surprising given the origins of the role as a way to share life/career experience). So it can be even harder to know what external metrics, like accreditation, to look for (although there are mentoring qualifications out there). I’d be tempted to look for an ongoing commitment to supporting other people’s careers (like specific coaching or cpd training) and an ongoing commitment to their own cpd. But choosing a mentor often relies more on looking at their practice/career and thinking whether they might offer useful insights for you in your own. And, again, as with coaching, if you are concerned about the ethics of mentoring, it’s worth asking the mentor their position on this or looking to see if they talk about it or related issues online.
How coaching/mentoring differs from counselling/therapy
Given the personal nature of the work of coaches and mentors it’s not surprising that these relationships might feel theraputic, but it’s important to remember that they are not therapy. People’s mental health, especially in relation to trauma or systemic oppression, need to be supported properly, and coaches/mentors should not be taking that responsibility (although they should be aware and informed about these things so that they can advise or recommend appropriate support for their clients if necessary).
One of the key differences is that counselling and therapy often spend time looking to the past to understand how people feel about things and the impact that’s having on their lives, coaching and mentoring tends to focus on how things are now and how clients wish them to be in the future. And, there is also the fact that counsellors and therapists are required to undergo external supervision throughout their careers and there are strict ethical guidelines they must adhere to.
This article by Amy Phipps, founder of Women Who Create UK, gives a clear explaination of Differences and Similarities Between Coaching, Mentoring and Counselling (from a coach point of view). And this article on the Coaching Network website goes into quite a bit of detail about the similarities/differences as well as the different types of coaching.
Which is right for you?
Understanding what you are looking for and your needs is the key to finding the right coach or mentor (or indeed counsellor/therapist). Once you understand which approach you would like, what the focus of the work needs to be, how long you want to be in relationship for, then you can start to see which coaches/mentors offer those things or match up.
Don’t forget that each coach/mentor will have their own approach and that they may define ‘coach’ or ‘mentor’ differently.
Research different coaches and mentors to find people who align with your values, who have an outlook or approach that feels like it might fit well with you. If you’re uncertain about how they work ask for more details or see if they offer a quick ‘chemistry call’ where you can explain what you’re looking for. And remember, you don’t have to book anything if it doesn’t feel right.
Conflicts within these relationships, or a feeling of things not being ‘quite right’ often come from a mis-match of expectations, so it’s worth being honest with yourself and also with the coach/mentor about what you need so that no assumptions are being made and everyone knows where they stand.
Here are some questions to ask yourself to help get started:
Do you want to be supported as you discover the way through or do you want someone with experience to offer you advice?
This could help you decide if you need a coach or a mentor as typically coaches will expect to support you to find your own solutions, whereas mentors may be happy offering advice.
Do you want someone to help you set goals and to be accountable to or do you want something a bit more open or flexible?
These things are not mutually exclusive, but it’s important to realise that some coaches will prefer to work towards goals and some mentors might not want to do that. Again, it’s worth asking to find out.
Are you hoping to explore your practice and gain better understanding?
If you are looking for an open space to investigate your practice, a creative mentor might be a better fit, although this doesn’t mean a coach won’t be happy to work this way. Again it depends on the individual approach.
Are you looking to work on specific issues or barriers?
If so, there could be coaches/mentors who focus on those things. Or you might feel happy with a coach or mentor who supports creatives generally.
Do you want to be helped or heard?
Being honest about your expectations is so important. Whether you would prefer to be told what to do, or would just like a space to talk about your perspective/experiences without a focus on solutions – these are things which a coach or mentor may not feel happy to do, or they might prefer to do.
In the next post I’ll be talking about coaching/mentoring in a craft context and highlighting a couple of people who I’ve worked with personally and can wholeheartedly recommend.