Usually I like to write these essays in the days just before the seasonal waypoint so that I can express what I am feeling in that moment, and feels connected to what is going on around me. This week I am empty. I wasn’t very well over the weekend and the tiredness and slowness of my brain haven’t gone away as quickly as I’d hoped. This is often the case in this new(ish) landscape of chronic illness.

This morning, the deadline for getting this essay ready looming, I contemplated my options. I could just abandon the whole thing (I mean who would really notice?) or I could write something, anything, to be able to share, no matter whether it felt alive for me. But do you know what? I’m no longer interested in these capitalist norms that say we must be consistent and we must be perfect. I love having this seasonal connection with you at a pace that feels much more aligned with my nervous system than a weekly or monthly schedule. And writing this essay almost feels ritualistic at this point. I didn’t want to miss it. But, I also wanted to honour what my body/mind is telling me, that there isn’t much here to dredge at the moment, and not to force it.

So in the spirit of making an offering, but giving myself grace, I’ve decided to re-share a piece of writing from the Spring equinox in 2024. I am a big believer in revisiting work. I think we should normalise showing things, sharing things, exhibiting things, multiple times. Because the reality is that most folk miss things the first time around. And there is still so much value in older work, even if we think it’s been seen or heard before.

This piece of writing was only shared on my blog, so it’s entirely possible no one saw it back then. And the sentiment it contains still feels relevant to me now, even 2 years on. I’ve also resisted the urge to edit or update any of the dates/information in here because I think it’s good to reflect on how much I’ve changed or the places where I would write something different now. As we spiral through these points again and again, they offer us so much scope for learning and noticing the incremental growth we are going through.